


The Dog's Bollocks

by MistyBeethoven



Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [13]
Category: Freaked! (1993)
Genre: Animalistic, Animals, BBW, Bad Taste, Bathing/Washing, Cat/Human Hybrids, Catboys & Catgirls, Cats, Cleaning, Comedy, Dog/Human Hybrids, Dogboys & Doggirls, Dogs, F/M, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Licking, Love, Love Stories, Naughtiness, Naughty, Opposites Attract, Overweight, Romantic Comedy, Science Experiments, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Tongues, True Love, True Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22299394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: After I have been transformed into a Cat Girl, Ortiz and I make our way back home and try to contact Ricky Coogan for the antidote to the Zygrot. However, I soon find that in my new form I am obsessed with cleanliness. Something which Ortiz does not approve of when I begin to notice how dirty he has become. My Dog Boy, however, soon changes his mind when he discovers that what I plan to do with him is far different from the bath he suspects...
Relationships: Ortiz the Dog Boy/Me
Series: "Yes, I Really Am This Pathetic!" or "How to Say I Love You With a Story" [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589944
Kudos: 8





	The Dog's Bollocks

**Author's Note:**

> This series is challenging me to be as naughty as I can within a Teen rating and I'm getting perverted fun and pleasure out of it! 😏

After we had finally finished our suddenly not so _public_ display of affection, everybody having run out of the tent in horror, Ortiz and I had to find a way out of the cage Elijah C. Skuggs had made for us at "Freek Land." It didn't take long without the Rasta Eyeballs constantly looking over our shoulders, though and soon we were walking paw in paw back to our safe and loving home. 

It was a harrowing journey. Ortiz wanted to chase several cars while I had the inexplicable urge to climb a tree and my mate had to restrain me by holding me forcefully back; not an easy task since I am chubby. Also we ended up having to avoid Animal Control once or twice. While my canine husband had his license, I alas, was not so lucky and would have likely of been carted away.

"That is it!" Ortiz announced as soon as we arrived back home. Slamming the door shut, he placed his back against it while his arms blocked the way. "You, Erin, are not leaving the house! I cannot risk my fine feline being taken away from me and sent to the pound. You are staying here until Ortiz can buy for you a license."

I looked at him with my new green cat eyes. "I'm not sure if they'll sell you one; it's kind of a human for animal thing. Not pet for pet."

Ortiz was filled with righteous anger. Revolutionary that he is, my dog can get his fur quite up over anything that he sees as being unfair. "The Capitalist swine!" he condemned with a bark. "I shall overthrow this government and make them change their outdated laws at the first opportunity possible."

He turned his brown puppy dog eyes back on me sweetly. "While Ortiz quite enjoys your additional breasts to feed any future puppies or kittens, Ortiz also is reluctant to keep you as a cat. Not because he does not love you but because Ortiz knows the existence of being a freak...I do not wish that on you my beloved."

I rushed towards my Dog Boy and held him, my six breasts pressed against his long torso. "I don't mind. Really. I'm just worried if I _do_ get pregnant, something may go wrong" I confessed. "I've heard that pregnant women and kitty litters don't mix."

Ortiz wrapped his strong arms around me. "I will try to contact Ricky Coogan. It is possible that he has some Zygrot antidote left. Then we can de-pussify you....well in the one way...I like your normal pussy right where it is."

"And it always adores your hot dog," I had truthfully proclaimed with a long lick on his fuzzy chin.

* * *

I sat on the couch as I heard Ortiz on the phone behind me. He was arguing with Ricky Coogan's agent, trying to get in contact with the savior of Elijah C. Skuggs' freaks. I listened as he didn't seem to be having any luck, however: it seemed that Coogan was out promoting his latest book: "Getting Freaky With It: How I Learned to Get My Freak On and Keep It When I Became Normal Once More." It seemed that his book promotion tour was almost as long as the title of his book.

As Ortiz was getting yippy with the agent, I felt another sudden urge take over me as I started to clean myself. I've never been too obsessive in that area as other women my own age are. Once a week usually does the trick because I'm not that dirty of a person to begin with. Well...maybe my mind on occasion in regards to Ortiz but that doesn't require a washing. Now, though, I was looking at my long calico fur, its mixture of white, orange and black, and I felt myself possessed with the sudden belief that it was filthy and requiring urgent need of a washing.

"I cannot believe that power stealing bastard has the audacity to write yet another book and to spend his time unleashing it on the sheep of the populace when we have need of him," Ortiz stated testily after hanging up the phone and sitting by my side. He turned to look at me, not expecting the sight awaiting him.

"What are you doing, Erin?" he asked in shock and interest.

I stopped moving my tongue along my arm long enough to reply, "I'm cleaning myself."

Question now answered, Ortiz watched me for a while as I continued my work. "Ricky will hopefully be back in a month," my Dog Boy said, his voice trailing as he remained staring at me.

I took my torn t-shirt off and started to lick my body as Ortiz continued to try to both explain what was going on with Ricky Coogan and criticize him harshly. "The a-agent s-said he w-would give Ri-icky the m-message. The...the capi...the..."

The poor little human-canine hybrid then started to whimper and I looked up from the process of washing myself to discover that at some point Ortiz had become aroused by watching me. Sometime during my languorous licking of my breasts and the working of my way ever lower, my Dog Boy had found himself quite the bone.

"Erin..." he started to yelp. "D-don't t-tease Ortiz..."

Understanding my poor little Doggy's problem, I quickly removed my pants and threw them on the floor. Spreading my legs, I quickly told him, "Come on boy; give me something more interesting to clean when I get there."

With a happy bark, Ortiz jumped on top of me and happily fulfilled his Mistress' command.

* * *

This pattern continued for days: I would begin to clean myself; Ortiz would request to watch and then my cat bath would be interrupted by my husband's animal lust as he was increasingly turned on by my actions. It was actually very fun and I quite enjoyed putting on a very kitty-titty-lating show for him.

The only problem was that I was soon finding my cleansly slitted eyes turning to Ortiz, whom was getting very sweaty and dirty from our repeated sessions of passion. I could tell that my Dog Boy was in desperate need of a bath now himself. And while it had never previously bothered me that Ortiz did not take baths, now my Pussycat self was finding myself wanting to fix that one specific quibble.

On the couch watching "Jeopardy," I addressed my husband with this, "They are needed when a person or animal becomes too dirty or smelly."

Ortiz looked at me in severe offense and fright. "What is a bath?" he replied. "Erin! Are you suggesting Ortiz take one of those?"

He quickly took his arm off from around my shoulders and scooted down to the other end of the sofa, folding his arms in defiance. "You never forced me to before! I suddenly do not like this side of you and hope Ricky Coogan's autobiography becomes a New York Times Worstseller and he comes back with the Zygrot cure!"

"I love you, Ortiz," I said shifting on the couch to face him head on, sincerely sorry I had offended my precious lover. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I understand; you are not to blame; you are now a cat, after all." He said the word "cat" with contempt as if all of his former prejudices had returned in the blink of an eye. "But listen here: Ortiz will not place one paw inside of a bathtub!"

Seeing his problem, I swished my fluffy tail sensuously and slinked up to him in the most seductive manner, I could manage; which was entirely dependent on one's attraction for plump pussycats. Luckily my Dog Boy was susceptible; I watched as Ortiz looked at me in unwanted curiosity and excitement, his tail wagging against his will.

"Who said anything about an old _bathtub_?" I purred as I ran my tongue from his jawline down along his furry throat.

My Dog Boy shuddered in bliss. I held out my paw and he looked at it in a daze as a claw suddenly popped out of it. I brought the sharp part of myself to his uniform and slowly used it to cut it open. Pushing the torn fabric away, Ortiz's chest and stomach was now exposed. I carefully placed my tongue onto his fur and began to clean him in the most pleasuring way imaginable.

The Dog Boy lay back, enjoying himself as I did one of the things cats did best: clean.

When I had finished with his upper half, I turned my attention to his lower extremities, cutting into his trousers as I had done with the shirt of his uniform. My Ortiz liked going commando so I didn't need to bother with any underwear.

Arching his back, Ortiz started to first whimper, then bark and finally howl loudly as my soft, moist tongue meticulously cleaned off his privates. A matter which was prolonged when he dirtied himself up again in a way that didn't shock me in the least.

I had seen it coming after all.

Finished licking that up also, I started to clean myself where Ortiz had gotten his puppy making stuff on me. As my husband lay back panting in afterglow, I wet my paw and then rubbed it against my face and followed this action by licking the paw again. Seeing that he'd gotten some on my chest also, I removed my shirt and started to clean it off.

It didn't take long before I heard a little whimpering sound sounding once more from my side and rotated my head to find Ortiz looking at me lustfully. He was excited again: a dog with two bones in under an hour.

Taking the needed action, using my claw to rip open my pants, I spread myself wide again and winked at him from across the couch. "Come and get me big boy," I purred.

Once more, Ortiz was on me; unleashed and untamed. He may have wanted to keep me out of Animal Control's clutches, but the Dog Boy certainly didn't have any qualms about _pound_ -ing into me.

* * *

Later that night, before sleep, I came back into the bedroom after brushing my fangs to find Ortiz naked and lying back on the bed. He looked like he had been rolling around in any condiment he could get his paws on in the kitchen and looked absolutely filthy.

"Erin," he said, propping himself up on his elbows. "I am dirty again. I require another bath."

"Puuurrrrfect," I exclaimed.

With a naughty smile, I pounced on my dirty Dog Boy and started to get down to business to both of our mutual pleasure. What the English say about a Dog's bollocks is true; I can personally attest to it.

Well...at least, my _Ortiz's_ are and those are the only ones that matter to me.


End file.
